Tuesday, December 2, 2008

FYI

Everything is done except the finishing touches on my dress. Probably very few if any blog updates until we get back and post pictures.

Knoxville friends and family, be on the look out for an evite from the Boss Lady for our "Welcome Home, You got Married" party.

The Eurodam Blog is coming to my wedding

After months of anticipation that I would get a glimpse of an onboard wedding they are finally going to show one. Oh, but it will be too late for me since it will be mine.
I hope other bride to be Eurodam Blog stalkers are out there watching.

If you haven't been keeping up with the blog you really should check out the latest feature The Captain's Log. It would make Krissy squeamish since he talked about winds and force and stabilizers, but I find it very appealing to my scientific mind.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

A review of the Eurodam is up on cruisecritic

http://www.cruisecritic.com/reviews/review_page2.cfm?ShipID=405

It's not stellar but not bad by a long shot. I would say if anything this is an honest review. Two main points: there is no wall dividing the Explorations Cafe and the Crows Nest. I assume this means the Cafe is also closed during our ceremony. Also, they have added drawers under the bed for more storage which is good. There is always plenty of closet space but it hard to store underwear on a shelf.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Eurodam

The Eurodam arrives in Port Everglades today. She begins making her Eastern Caribbean voyages which will be out itinerary.

PS The whole group is booked and paid for!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

This Saturday! (Now with pictures)

I can't make this rotate so just turn your head. Here I am in my fabulous dress from Miss Alphabet on etsy. I am accessorizing with a sash, tiara veil, blinking "kiss the bride" pin, a special very large pink bindi and a shot glass necklace.Here are the lovely ladies of Bellabelly. I am not sure what angle we were going for.My mom and Laura, the event sponsor. I think this was supposed to be a "crazy eyes" photo.We broke into teams for a photo scavenger hunt. Really only Kelley, Laura and Julie tried hard. I personally was distracted by shadow dancing and the booty box.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

The countdown is on

People keep asking me how many days to my wedding. This is not something I really cared about but it felt odd to not know so, I wrote the days down in my calendar. -It is on the side of this blog but I never look at the public page. Anyway, 88 days.


Things are moving along. We have reservations, party plans, the cake is picked out, etc.

I have ordered all the things to go in the favors which I will post more about when the items come and I can take assembly pictures. Now it is time for more work on the clothes.


Chris has an appointment tomorrow at John H Daniel, a Tailor in Knoxville. They make some of the best suits in the US for the likes of Tiger Woods and Bill O'Reilly. I am sure some of their lines are very much out of our price range but if you live here in Knoxville and go right to their main tailoring site you can get a great deal on a pretty standard suit. Chris has such long arms that it is hard for him to find a suit that fits without lots of expensive tailoring. We have worked out that going to John H Daniel will cost him less than Mens Warehouse.


As for me, I had another superb dress fitting. I am going to be so gorgeous. I feel like a princess. I don't have any dress pictures since it is still not put together but here is a picture of the FINAL selection of shoes.

Friday, October 3, 2008

My Event Coordinator

is technically me. But today I have been working with Brenna. She is the Onboard Event Services Coordinator for the Eurodam.
Today we scheduled the Pool Fiesta Party for our group. We are also currently working on group seating for the 5 star Pinnacle Grill for our final evening aboard.

The bad news I have is that the only shore excursion that Krissy actually wanted to do, the Bacardi Rum Factory tour, is not operating because January 6th is a Puerto Rican national holiday. I am going to make it up to her by buying her all the rum drinks she can handle on that day.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Random

First, congratulations to our friends Claudia and Willie who are getting married this Saturday. Claudia and I have been sharing ideas and resources through out our planning process.

Things are coming along. Chris and I finalized our choices for the ceremony and reception. I just sent them off to Royal Ocean Events. The clothes are being worked on.

There was mini-ring disaster. My ring came in as yellow gold due to a clerical error. Ann at Lamon's sent it back out and I will get my white gold on soon enough. Since I can't take a picture until the final payment is made, I found some look a likes on The Knot.

Chris's ring looks like this. The main part is Matte and the small stripe is polished.



I am a little shocked that he didn't pick just plain, but the line on this ring really suites him.

Now ignore the engagement ring. My band looks like this. It fits against the curve of my e-ring and will be set with all Sapphires.

One final picture. Here is an updated picture of the Crow's Nest where our ceremony will take place.


I don't really know how the furniture arranging will work. I assume they will use the smaller chairs (in the background at the table) to arrange ceremony seating and then just leave the usual lounge set up for the reception. I love that it is going to be cozy couches and chairs at the reception.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Hair, Hair, Everywhere Hair

My mom will tell you that my hair is my best feature. As an immodest child I had no problem telling everyone that I had move star hair like Julia Roberts. It is thick and luxurious. As an adult I wear it up in a clip almost everyday.

I am against wedding hair that doesn't look like your everyday hair. I don't want to look back at my pictures and think who is that woman at wedding.
So I have decided to go with my hair down and accentuate my natural waves and curls. They are unruly on their own so this involves blowing my hair straight and recurling it. My mother gets this dubious honor.
Next time she visits we are going to see the fabulous Janet at R & Co in Turkey Creek. (If you live in Knoxville go see her, she is fab-u-lous) Janet will help coach my mom and how to get the perfect curls.
Here is some inspiration:
Source: Unknown, The Knot
I am working on making a new barrette with a large flower and small bit of veil. I became dissatisfied with the first result and got some great new inspiration from etsy. That is on hold until I finish making a hot pink bra for my new dance costume.

Where have I been for almost a month?

Chillaxing and dancing. That is how it goes sometimes. Things are sort of at a stand still.
Here is a brief recap of recent events.

1. We booked The Ft. Lauderdale Grande Hotel and Yacht Club for the night before the cruise. My dad was kind enough to spring for the rooms for everyone involved in the wedding. This is good news for my MOH and ring bearer's parents.
2. Oh, I got a ring bearer. Will take picture of his super cute birds nest that the rings will come down the aisle on.
3. Picked out wedding bands. They won't let me take a pic until we pay which I will do on Saturday.
4. My mom got a ridiculously hot dress. They didn't have petite so she has to shorten it.
5. The mother of the groom wants to get her hair done so I put the groom in charge of that appointment.

This means he has two jobs now. The hair appt. details and keeping the google spreadsheet of guest details up to date.

Oh, let's talk about my hair.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Guest Book

When you only have 20 guests a guest book seems like a little much. I shopped around and of course by around I mean on etsy. I have seen the signature frames before and those are nice but I really liked these

signature platters by Serendipity Crafts. Chris and my mom took a vote and chose this design. I ordered it in Navy. Each plates comes with a special pen and after guests sign you bake it in the oven and then you can actually use it. I am sure I will just hang ours on the wall.

I am not a slacker

Actually, things at work have been crazy. I keep thinking that I will blog from my iPhone but that tiny keyboard is hard to type on.
ALL THE GUESTS ARE BOOKED ON THE CRUISE! Now I just have to get everyone to fill out my google form so I can turn my guest information in.
The dress is coming along. My mom picked out a ridiculously gorgeous dress. My girls are planning my night of debauchery. Yay! Things are happening.

Update- Things are not ahppening. We are at a stand still as far as wedding things go. I should have more dress posts and other posts in the coming weeks but it is going to be slow.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Clothes and Accesories Redux

I had my first fitting on Sunday and "Wow!". Even though it is only the pattern and made out of muslin, I am in love. Jillian made one strap and 1/2 the top out of satin to see how it lays. It looks stellar. She took my trim and cut around so the individual pieces can be laid in a different pattern, Then she put light blue crystals in with the gold. Since my trim is gold (and isn't it one of my colors) I had to go with a new necklace.

This one is from etsy seller Timelesstrinkets.
Jillian is going to try and incorporate some seed pearls into the trim too.
Since now we have gold, pearls and crystals - the shoes were just too much. I sent them back. Yay! for Zappos free shipping. I am now on the hunt for light blue strappy sandal.
I ordered the men's ties. Chris and his best man get the Victorian Gears tie in navy on baby blue and the dads get the Cliipership tie in white on navy.
I went with the lego cuff links and got these; baby blue which I hope to match the tie. From etsy seller cufflinks.
I know we are going with blues allover the spectrum but usually when you have enough shades they all come together as complimentary.
I still haven't decided if I should get the mom's something since the dads get ties. The parents as couples will get a traditional parents gift.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Monday, July 14, 2008

Be Our Guest, Be Our Guest (sing it!)

Twistie over at Manolo for the Brides posted some tips on how to be a good guest. I think that is helpful for anybody because generally we are guests more often than we are brides.

  1. Please, please, please RSVP!
  2. If at all possible, send your wedding gift before the wedding.
  3. Remember that the registry list is a helpful suggestion, not an order.
  4. Arrive in good time looking like you belong.
  5. Get into the spirit of the party.
  6. Thank your hosts.

#2 is doubly so for us because the cruise line requests that gifts are not brought on board. You also shouldn't fly with wrapped gifts.

For Twistie's explanation of why these are good rules, read the whole post here.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Google Documents will do it for you

This isn't the first group trip I have put together. One of the hardest things was getting every one's name and birth date correct. In the case of our wedding group, I also need to collect immigration information such as passport number, emergency contact, etc. I thought I was going to have to send out a form for everyone to return then hassle them about getting it to me on time. What if I couldn't read the handwriting?
Well, to make things easier I used Google Documents. You set up a spreadsheet with all the headers and Google creates a form and e-mail it out. As guest fill in the blanks and hit submit the spreadsheet auto-populates. No laborious typing.
I am so excited I found this new feature. It is going to very useful for a lot of reasons.

Monday, June 30, 2008

Tomorrow is the big day for our venue

The Eurodam will be dedicated by the Queen of the Netherlands tomorrow in Rotterdam. Also, Chris and I will head to Riviera Maya for 6 days of R&R.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Pictures of the Deluxe Verandah Rooms


Something for the Boys

~Chris knows that he is not allowed to read this blog so don't worry.


As much time as I have spent accessorizing myself it is time to accessorize the groom. First his tie. I found this awesome tie on etsy from seller toybreaker. I think it fits a mechanical engineer perfectly.






Here is a small detail. Can you tell that the printing is actually pretty low so it may not show at all which is fine.

And what about this tie for the dads and maybe Chris's witness? I think the ship motif makes a good commemorative tie and it is not lame.

I haven't decided on the cuff links I am going to order Chris as his gift. What do you think? (leave a comment).

First, there are these which go with our birdie theme.

Then there are these Lego ones which kind of go with Chris's design side and I know he had much love for the Lego's.

Mostly not wedding related

I tagged myself from Marmadaisy to do this meme.

What were you doing ten years ago?
I had just graduated high school and I was working at Pet Food Center and running around with friends until all hours of the night. I wish I had known then how much I should be cherishing those care free times.

5 things on my "to do" list today
1. Reschedule dentist
2. Clean my fishes tank - I am a bad mom
3. Harass people into RSVPing for my wedding - it is a constant battle
4. Get my measurements for our new costume order
5. Get groceries for tomorrow's cook out

Things I would do if I were a billionaire.
I would quit my job and open up a shop of whatevers like crafts and whimsy things. I would set up my retirement fund, kids college fund, buy a batch in NZ and then donate a lot of it to the Best Friends Animal Society to help save some kitties. I would probably also get a Llama so everyone knows I have been serious about saying that if I had the money I would get a Llama.

Places I have lived
Owensboro, Ky
Miami, FL
Cherokee, NC
Knoxville, TN

Snacks I like
All snacks, I prefer very sweet or very salty

People I want to know more about
The people I work with and dance with. I think there are great things about them that I don't know.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Let the favors begin

Doing favors for a DW is hard. You can't really bring lots of edible things on a hot plane (or in my parents hot car where my luggage will be riding). So I am doing several small favors along the way.

It's no secret I love etsy. Why not get something handmade and promote small businesses. Everyone gets gifts from etsy from now on. So yesterday I ordered 20 of these awesome luggage tags.


I need to collect personal info from all our guests to put together the immigration sheets. This includes passport number and place of birth, etc. I am going to make an easy fill in the blank sheet and mail it out with one of these awesome tags. Everyone will have something bright to spot their bags. I think it is cool way to say thanks for coming to our wedding and thanks for being patient and letting me collect enough personal info to take over your identity.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The 2nd date I am looking forward to

Besides our wedding date I am really looking forward to the day the Eurodam is dedicated. I have never read a shipbuilding blog until now. Check out today's pics and everything else they have going on over at the Eurodam News Blog.
I love HALs logo. It reminds me of the splendor and majesty of cruise ships. You don't realize until you stand next to one just how awesome they really are.
This is a picture of the Lido pool. The roof actually closes over this pool so you can swim even if the weather is bad. The window over looking the pool are the Tamarind restaurant. On the opposite end of the ship looking over the ocean in the same manor will be the Crow's Nest and location of our ceremony.

Here is a side view of the rooms. Ours are on the first, second and third floors from the top.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Spies on the ship!

So, I have been anxious that nothing is going on with the wedding. Waiting for RSVPs, waiting for my next session with Jillian, waiting for a final count so I can order favors, waiting, waiting, waiting.
Well, today my very best friend from high school RSVP'd. How exciting! This mean Anna and Krissy my two closest friends from anytime in my life will be there.

Friday, June 6, 2008

I bought a button maker!

Everyone is in trouble now! I will be making some crazy buttons.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Transportation

This post from the Pink Book Blog got me thinking about transportation. Why rent a Hummer-limo or a party bus that uses a ton of gas? You can ride away on bikes or arrive in a horse drawn carriage. Then I saw an awesome ad in Metropulse giving me just the information I needed to get out there to Knoxville brides. Check out www.knoxvillegreencar.com.
Now Chris and I do get a ride from our hotel to the ship. This is provided by Royal Ocean Events and I have no idea what kind of transport it will be. I think when I make more arrangements I will be sure and ask if they have a greener option.

Dress Making Update

Okay, I am a picture posting slacker. I have fabric and trim. I also have shoes, fondation garments, everything I need for my next meeting with Jillian. I have an appointment on Sunday at which point I am going to pay my deposit. Yay! I will totally add a picture to this post by then.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Of course I picked the greenest cruiseline

Check out this post from Portovert, on green crusing.

Sex and the City

If you are expenting a post about how much I loved the movie then move on. I didn't see it. I don't want to. I liked the show but I have moved on to other shows and will spend my $8.50 on a mixed drink with my own girl friends.
Anyway, my bff Krissy did call to inform me that Carrie wears blue shoes in her wedding. You can see by the post date that I didn't rip the movie off, and if it becomes cliche by the time I get married then I won't care. My shoes are awesome cliche or not - and I still haven't decided between the two.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

My Blue (not suede) Shoes

I am not a shoes person. I am a bag person. This is because I have oddly shaped feet. They are flat but wider st the toe than the middle. The left is an 8 1/2 the right is a 9 1/2. I was not uber-excited about my wedding shoes until I browsed around and found the new trend of wearing colored shoes. I think a splash of color is just what my ensemble needs.
I found 2 pair. One is exactly what I imagined, the other looks like shoes I would actually wear. They are both from Zappos.com and they have free shipping both ways so I thought, why not?

These are the shoes I dreamed of. Wouldn't I look very Marilyn in these babies with a short dress? These look more like my actual style. I prefer strappy and I think the little rhinestones are a nice touch.

Now I have to wait see which ones look best on and with my dress - and if either even fit. The Zappos returns department and I may become good friends.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The Downside

The downside to telling people involved in your wedding about your wedding blog is that it is hard to surprise them. So all I can say is, "I got an awesome deal on two awesome things for two awesome people."

Fabric, maybe

So my trip to Baer was a success. I think. I only found 2 fabrics in the whole place that I liked and they were both on clearence so what did I do? I bought the whole bolt of each. One is low luster, the other is a sheer. I am not very good at deciding. (I will post a great picture of Chris walking down Market Street carrying the sheer on a home decor roll later).

Monday, May 19, 2008

What's going on?

I had my meeting with Jillian (my dress designer) yesterday. We talked about design, fabric, etc. Looking at my inspiration board below. We are goign with a funky strap like the braid, a trimmed waist, empire waist and tea length.
Chris and I are going out of town Memorial Day week-end and luckily there is a big warehouse style fabric store that sells online. I am going to go buy some samples to bring back and then we can order the yardage online when we find out what we need. I also hope to find some trim or an applique for the waist. Jilliam can hand bead it but that would go WAY over my budget. My original dress budget was $500. I want to stick to that plus the cost of fabric. The thing about working with an artist is I can't get a flat quote because she will design it as we go along. You are assured that I will nag her along the way - "So if we add this how much does it add to my price?" Having seen some of her more complex designs I know I can keep it in budget if I don't go off into fairytale princess land once we get started.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Wedding Cake Video

I saw this almost a year ago and it still makes me laugh!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Sanity....sweet, sanity

I like this girl. I like her #1 rule that your wedding isn't going to be perfect so get over it and make it a happy occasion.
I think I do that. All I need is Chris keeping me sane.

It don't mean a thing, if you ain't got that ring


Chris proposed sans ring. I had originally said I wanted him to pick it out and surprise me but I could see how stressed that made him so we decided to look together. We went to four local jewelers before we found the one (see above). We have found some that were "good enough" but we saw this one and we knew.
We got it at Lamon's Jewelers. It is a part of their signature Lydia collection. You can't tell from the picture but we had two small sapphire's set in each face. Howard ordered the diamond to our exact specifications and made the whole things come in right at Chris's budget. We have heard other people who were not as pleased with their experience and we have heard from other people who were. I give Lamon's my full endorsement and suggest you check out their great selection of custom jewelry.
I have my eye on a Lydia watch for my birthday this year.

Shower Fun!

Miss Peacock had this great post about bridal showers over on WeddingBee.

Since Chris and I have already set up house we don't need much. We really only registered because we know some people like to buy off a registry. We were only going to register on Amazon.com but we realized some people like to actually go to a store so we registered at Bed, Bath and Beyond. Both registries are small but we feel okay about that since we only expect about 20 guests. I expect that most registry purchases will actually come from the shower my co-workers will throw.

Now ettiquette says you should only invite people who are invited to your wedding when you have a shower but when you have a destination wedding this goes out the window. Most destination weddings are small and your friends who are not invited still want to celebrate. My bellydance girlfriends want to have a shower, my aunt wants to have a shower back home (Owensboro, KY) and I know we will have a shower at work.

I like the ideas on Miss Peacock's post about theme showers that vere off of the registry. Chris and I a have a Wii, a DS and we love board games so I think a fun and games shower would be cool. It can have pricey presents like Wii games and not so pricey presents like simple board games and puzzles. - When it snows I do lots of puzzles. I also have my eye on those table topics games where you draw the card about what you should talk about.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

My Dress Inspiration Board

So I haven't yet made my appointment with the dress maker. I have been busy dancing up a storm. We have a little break now and I hope to meet with her this week-end.

This is the inspiration board I made to take with me.
From left to right:
1. Jenny Packman - Elizabeth 2. Hairstyle from the the knot 3. Beach Braid from etsy seller LondonDemimonde 4. Mademoiselle from Joan Shum 5. Hairstyle from the knot
6. Bonny #734 7. Necklace from etsy seller LesChic 8. Lea-Ann Belter Bride - Natalie
9. Necklace from etsy seller GoMeagan 10. Veil from MyraKim

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

My Inspiration Board


That's my actual necklace on the top right, our actual invitation on the bottom left, a picture of the Eurodam's sister ship the Zuiderdam from our 2006 cruise and us. All other photos curtosy of The Knot.

Why a cruise wedding?

With Chris's parents being in New Zealand, it was hard to imagine a wedding were we would all

get to spend lots of time together. Unless it came before the wedding and no one wanted the disaster (I am a bridezilla waiting to happen).
We were talking about where we would get married a long time ago and I joked about Hawaii being half way to New Zealand. Well, one thing led to another and the idea of the cruise wedding was born.
My mom is like me. We do things all or nothing. Well, my cousin had an all out huge wedding and I remember in the car on the way home my mom looked at me and said, "Imagine the most lavish wedding I could afford for you. I will give you that money to elope."
We both see the stress that a wedding can become and neither one of us wants that for me. With a destination wedding of this sort a lot of the details are taken care of. This does mean that you give up a lot of the decision making and control but for me it is worth it. I want this to be a stress free day that I always remember.

The Proposal

Fast forward to July 23, 2007 (almost 3 years later)
the bell that may not exist

Chris often asks what our plans are for the next few weeks. He knows that I will have plans that far in advance and that he was not listening when I told him what they were. On one occasion, after I rattled off which days were what and which days were free, he suggested we go out to eat on that Monday.
Both of us had recently suggested going to our favorite Indian Restaurant but the other wasn't that hungry or some other reason not too. I decided what a great time to go. Chris said no he really wanted to eat on the Square. We should go to the new Thai place. I admit I thought this was odd for the following reasons:
I always drag Chris downtown on a weeknight and it is an hour from where he works.
He really had wanted to go to Sitar for a while.
He knows I am worn out of every restaurant on the Square (it is less than 20 yards from my work).
I agreed and he came to meet me in my office after work. As we walked out the back to Koi, he paused near the bell and said this is where we met. I got nervous and started rambling about how I still can't believe I hadn't noticed it and why is it here, there is no plaque....
Chris took my hand and something about being together, and love -FOCUS, FOCUS on what he is saying I kept telling myself - but my heart was pounding and my eyes were shifting and I felt all weird. He ended with something about wanting to marry me. I stared at him blankly and he stared back.
Finally I spoke, "Was there a question in there?"
"Jen Clark, will you marry me?"
"Yes"
And then I called everyone I know in the phone.

He had actually called my mom and asked permission so she already knew. And she couldn't keep her mouth shut! When I called my Grandma Bertie her response was, "I know. Me and your momma already did a happy dance in the kitchen."

Our first date

I met Chris at the bell. I was early (surprise!) and was walking around talking on the phone when I saw him go by. I scoped him out for a minute and then went up to say hello.
We went to eat at The Brewery. Dinner was good and we had a nice time talking. We got done and went upstairs to where the band was going to be. The Brewery staff was serving wine and beer so we got a drink and sat down to talk. We talked about things to do in and around Knoxville. We both wanted to go to Nama which had just opened. Chris was on a quest to find his favorite beer and I suggested The Beer Seller which was still open then. We talked about all kinds of places that we should go. Then the opening band came on...
It was horrible! We both cringed but kept saying that Jolie Holland would be much better. Well, she wasn't. It's funny because when Springtime Will Kill You came out; I heard it on the radio and loved it. I was shocked to find out it was Jolie Holland - the woman who ruined my first date. Maybe my tastes have changed since then. Anyway, we are both not enjoying the music so Chris says, "You want to get out of here." He didn't say it in a sleazy "back to my place way." I figured we would walk over to Preservation Pub and have a drink and chat some more. I agreed.
We got back downstairs and Chris asked me where I parked. I assumed he didn't want us to head off downtown in the opposite direction. I told him I was in the State Street garage. He said, "I'll walk you to your car." My mind was racing. "Is our date over?!?” I was thinking.
We got to my car and he opened my door. I waited for the awkward "I like you but we just met" hug and instead....
"See ya!” he says. And he waves his hand and walks away.
I called my girlfriend to say that not only was the date awful but he didn't even have the decency to pretend he was going to call me again.
He called the next day. We averaged 1 date every 4 days for the next 2 months. After that it just gets blurry.

Before they had Dr. Phil as a spokesperson

We met on match.com. I always point out that I was kind of joking about it, and Chris really wanted to meet someone. I wasn't go to pay any money for it so I signed up for a 3 day free trial and *winked* at every guy I liked.
Chris responded. We e-mailed for a month about movies, vacations, whatever. I was convinced that ours was an e-friendship. His cousin came to visit so he said he would be offline for a few days. Then he e-mailed me a photo of a concert flyer and said his cousin recommends the band and did I want to go.
The show was in the Woodruff Building and we made plans to meet on Market Square. He asked me to meet him by the big bell opposite the stage at 6pm. I had been to market square many times and did not recall ever seeing a bell. I questioned him as to if this was a prank. He assured me that it was not.

I still have the note I jotted on a piece of kappa stationary.

Aug 6
6pm
market square
opposite the stage
bell that may not exist